What just hit me?

Lets take a trip back to when I was in fourth grade.

It was a warm Spring day and the wind was blowing pretty hard. It was lunch time, a group of my friends and me were outside sitting under a tree. We were eating are lunches and talking. When a gust of wind came up and the paper bag I had my lunch in started to blow way. As I reached out to grab it, I saw a spot red and white flash before me. I followed the flash of color down, then I felt something hit me in the stomach. I looked down and saw a pinkish red spot on my new white shirt. I also saw a white/pinkish red tube on the ground next to me. What ever could it be? I ran and got a teacher, when I showed her where I was sitting she was amazed. Why you might ask? Well, maybe it is because the tree I was sitting under was covered with blood soaked tampons.

To this day I still can't walk down the tampon aisle!!! GROSS

ER story #3 - Where's the beef?

Ok, I wasn't actually at the hospital for this one. It was my day off but I did see the patient's chart the next night so I know the doctor wasn't lying.

One evening a young man came into the emergency room. He walked up to the admissions desk and asked to be seen immediately. He was told he had to fill out the paperwork before being seen. He sat down and began filling out the papers. Shortly there after, he passed out and fell to the ground. Two nurses came out, rolled him on his back and noticed his blood soaked jeans. They got him to a wheel chair and got him in back. When they got his pants off, they saw where the blood was coming from.

= FLASH BACK =

Earlier that evening, the young man and his girlfriend were having sex. Let's say he was well equiped and she was a newbie. When they were done he was unable to pull out. Being a virgin, she was a little tight. On top of that, she had a muscle spasm. They tried many things to try and get her to relax, but had no luck. The young man got worried and lifted her off of him in one quick motion. He grabbed her by the hips and pushed back, hard and fast. This of course fixed the problem. But as she slid off of him, so did his foreskin.

That's right, you heard me.

Breaking News or Blood Sport??

For those of you who don't know me, here is a little insight into what I love. SHARKS...I love them, no silly not to eat but to study, watch and admire.

Ok, so what has my panties in a twist is this years Shark tournament. This years tournament had 100 boats taking part. At dawn the boats left the harbor and within hours they returned with 41 Makos and Thrasher sharks. These sharks were dragged ashore and weight and measured. The fisherman with the biggest shark got a cash reward. This years cash prize was 140 thousand dollars. The top shark was a 413 lb female Thrasher shark. I know that all the small sharks caught were tagged and released. But still 41 sharks killed for what, MONEY. Come on people. I am not stupid, I know they go on every year. I also know that it is just fishing, don't get me wrong I love to fish. It is one of my favorite past times. But there is a big difference, I release all my fish.

If you want to continue this sport take a ref with you on your boat. Reel the shark in and measure the shark there. Take a picture of it and bring the picture and official records from the ref back to the harbor with you. There is no need to kill these beautiful fish. It's not like they were hurting anyone. All these sharks were caught in deep water more then 15 miles offshore.