ER story #2 - Green Slime

One afternoon a woman in her early twenties came into the Emergency Room, complaining of abdominal pain and a strange odor. After the she was admitted, I showed the patient to an exam room and asked her to change into a hospital gown. I closed the curtain and walked out of the room. Shortly after I heard a scream come from the patient's room, I ran in and saw the patient standing next to the bed crying. She had the gown loose around her shoulders and her underwear down around her ankles. Laying on the floor between her legs was a pile of what looked to be green slime. When the patient removed her underwear this slime dropped from between her legs.

Apparently a week earlier the patient and her boyfriend were poking around an old rundown house. There was trash and half eaten food all over the place. After looking around for awhile, they started fooling around. One thing lead to another and you guess it, they got naked. The patient said that at one point her boyfriend found a stick that was laying in the trash pile and thought that it would be a great toy.

One of the doctors did an exam and came to the conclusion that the stick that the boyfriend used on her was dirty. (Who would have thought.) After an exam of the green slime by the lab, it was found that slime was in fact rotten maggots. After a round of antibiotics and a good uterus washing, she was as good as new.

ER story #1 - 30% more

I have had some requests from some very important people to write about my Emergency Room stories. So here is my first of many ER stories.

So this story takes place at Denver University, this is an older hospital. One where the ER has no walls between the exam rooms, just off white curtains. So late one evening one of the ER doctors called up to the Operating Room, were I was working at the time, and asked if I would come down and assist him with something. His also asked me to bring the largest teethed forcep that we had in the hospital. When I arrived in the ER, he asked me to walk down to the last exam area and take a look at the man in the room. I did as he asked, the man was in a hospital gown and bent over the exam table. I couldn't see anything physically wrong with the man. The doctor gave me a look and told me to walk behind the man. As I did, I saw it, a perfect silver circle about three inches in diameter in the man's ass. I walked out of the room, met with the doctor and asked him what it was. The patient had apparently been horny earlier that evening and found pleasure in sliding things up his ass. The item of choice for his evening pleasure was a can of oven cleaner. Not just a regular can of oven cleaner, but the 30% more can of oven cleaner even.
As you may have guessed it, the can got stuck. The doctor and I walked into the room where the man was waiting. The doctor took the forceps from me and grabbed the edge of the oven cleaner can. The doctor began to pull on the can, the can gave a little and then retracted back. The doctor tried again, the can came out a little and then right back. The doctor continued to pull until finally the edge of the can were the doctor had the forceps placed broke. A cloud of white smoke started to fill the air. After the can had emptied it's self and we had given the patient a muscle relaxing the can was finally pulled free.

(Public Service Announcement: if you ever shove a can of oven cleaner up your ass, make sure you stick the bottom of the can in first. If not, you stick the nozzle end in first, the doctor tries to pull it out and it doesn't come out on the first try the nozzle will depress and oven cleaner will shoot into your abdomen. Which will burn a hole into your colon.)

Friday is a good day for BOOBS

Ok for those of you who don't know what I do for a living, I am a first asst for a group of surgeons. On Friday I was assisting a plastic surgeon and I had the pleasure to give the gift of all gifts to one lucky patient. That's right I gave the gift of big boobs. Boobs that you could take a mountain bike and park it between, the boobs and the bike would stand up on it's own.

You may ask why am I telling you about this, here is why.

About 2 months ago Jane and I went out to grab some lunch. We went to Twin Peaks, which if you don't know is like an up(per) class Hooters. The girls are youngish and the food is Great, but then again the girls are too. Our waitress was nice, sweet and cute, but she was let's say... lacking. So two months later, who do I run into at my work? You guessed it, our waitress from Twin Peaks. Yep, she was there for some new boobs and by god I was happy to give them to her.

Here is the kicker, she remembered me. After the surgery she looked at me and grab my hand and said "Thank you so much for my new boobs. Do you think they will get me more tips?" I don't think life can get any better.

I think I have a new fetish!!!

Thanks to the all knowing, all powerful Jane I think I have a new fetish. It is called Plushophilia, if you are not sure what this wonderful new word means here is what it is. Plushophilia is the attraction to plushies and stuffed animals. The pictures that follow is not for everyone, people weak of heart, children, and women that are pregnant or could become pregnant should not look at these pictures.


Jane first introduced me to my new special friend, Bedtime Bear. Bedtime Bear is sweet, caring, and romantic. But Blue as I like to call her has a wild and kinky side.

Blue has the flare to get kinky and wild in front of other people. She like to be pleasured first and was very demanding. It was all about her.

But after she was pleased many many times it was my turn. I forced that sweet thing down and had my wicked way with her.

I am so happy that Jane opened my eyes to the wonderful world. But my heart was quickly broken shortly have my love session with Blue. Blue left me for Jane's younger and hairier brother.

I will never love another plushie like I loved Blue.

werewolf movies or just crap????

So there was a forum were people were talking about werewolf movies. So they were listing off werewolf movies that they say are Great. I agree some of them are, but then again some are crap. Here is the list so let me know what you think. Please if you know any other great werewolf movies please tell me.

Dog Soldiers - great
Ginger Snaps trilogy - great
The Company Of Wolves - haven't seen
The Howling - great
An American Werewolf in London - great
Wolfen - crap
Silver Bullet - great
Red Ridding Hood - haven't seen
The Beast Must Die - good
Meridian - haven't seen
Badmoon - haven't seen
Wilderness - haven't seen
The Curse - good
Blood and Chocolate - haven't seen
Teenwolf - good movie, but crap as a werewolf movie