ER story #5 What hasn't gone up there?

Working in the Emergence room I have seen a lot. Things that have made me happy, sad, mad and just plain grossed out.

What is it with people sticking stuff up their asses? I have seen potatoes, squash, carrots, bananas, frozen grapes, dildos, vibrators, curling irons, and toys. Toys like Barbie's hunk-of-a-man Ken. Some guy came in one night with a Ken doll stuck up his ass. The dumb ass that he was, stuck Ken in head first. You may ask why does that make him dumb. Here's why, when the guy tried to pull Ken out, Ken's arms raised up. So of course Ken wouldn't come out. Each time we tried to remove Ken his arms would raise and the man would scream. It was actually kind of funny. We finally had to slide some scissors up his ass and cut Ken's arms off. Then we were able to pull Ken out, but then we had to fish his arms out.

To this day I still have trouble walking down the Barbie aisle at the toy story.